SLROC Forum

"What do you mean by coming home half drunk," screamed the angry wife.
The husband shouted back, "it's not my fault - I ran out of money."

oh dear. 

warned u before my jokes were bad, they known in local circles as 'jumbo jokes'   

you never warned me. they bring tears to my eyes. real ones.  lol

ok 2 secs i update my profile to say i come with a health warning on bad jokes 

at least if they were recycled then you could always blame someone else lol. 

ok changed my profile page

well about time. 

  40 Gypsies arrive at the Pearly Gates in their Transit vans and caravans.

St Peter goes into the gatehouse and phones up God, saying:
'I've got 40 travellers here. Can I let them in?'

God says 'We are over quota on Pikeys.

Go out and tell them to choose between them which are the 12 most worthy
and I will let just the dozen in.'

Less than a minute later St Peter is on the phone to God again.

'They've gone', he tells God.

'What?' says God, 'All 40 of them?'

'No, the flipping gates!

  paddy in jail,officer looks in his cell & see's him hanging by his feet , says to paddy what the heck you doin!? killing meself he says
officer says it should be around the neck you thick idiot! paddy says i tried that but i could'nt breath 

Just back home after the preverbal 11 hour shift all work, except the 10 min chat with Skeet1300 or Sandy, and first thing was to look at joke section. Yeep there are some here that bring tears to my eyes and as Python says "real tears"
Will add another later 
 

Knock Knock  Who's there?
Ammonia
Ammonia who

Ammonia little kid 

Ok I am going to post this and see who comes up with the "Best Joke Answer"

There is an answer Ryan tellls me but if somebody comes up with a funnier one then I will donate ?10 to the charity of their choice after, the next the next ten minutes of posting, ok I will make it the next GRR
And to ensure a non bias judge I will let Ryan judge the winner.

OK so

"What is out of bounds"  ??

Ok so last one for tonight or should that be this morning

At the local quiz the compare ask "How many fish can you name that start and end with the same letter"

Mmm thinks the assembled audience fish   start  end...

So the compare gives them some help by giving them an example

"Trout starts with a T and ends with a T"

Minutes later and no answers comming from the audience the compare suggests again another

"What about Kilmarnock? Starts and ends with a K"

The audience are quiet for a moment and them somebody shouts out "Kilmarnock thats not a fish it s a town"

"Really" says the compare "I thought it was a PLAICE in Ayrshire"

Ok I will quit when ahead       

ok quite but dont think ur ahead ....groan.......